If you were planning on getting married in 2020 or you had to postpone/cancel your wedding due to COVID-19, you’ve come to the right place. You’re probably bummed out that your plans had to change. It sucks to have to stop planning everything you’ve been looking forward to celebrate. But there’s still a way you can get married during this time, you just have to have an open mind about it. Keep reading!
WHAT’S AN ELOPEMENT?
Many years ago an elopement meant to get married quickly and in secret without the knowledge of the couple’s family and friends. But today it’s taken on a new meaning. An elopement is simply a day to solely focus on the love and union of a couple. PERIOD. Whether you want family and friends around, is up to you but not necessarily done in ‘secret’. It’s a celebration of you as a couple and your love without all the fancy items that come with a traditional wedding. Although those things are beautiful and nice, don’t get me wrong. It’s about the celebration of your marriage not the materials things!
You have to be open to the possibility that you can truly do whatever you want, that you can enjoy the day with things and activities that make both of you happy. Because “traditional” weddings can bring on a lot of stress on how to take care of your guests. From trying to cater to all types of food diets, to fussing over venues because your father in law doesn’t like it, to choosing things because Aunt Karen wouldn’t like what you originally chose…to having to worry about getting a tent, tables and chairs for your guests to sit comfortably…you get it. Again, those things are okay to do. But if you’re a couple who just really wants to get married and doesn’t mind eliminating those things, an elopement is probably for you. You probably have some questions. I got you.
BUSTING SOME MYTHS ABOUT ELOPEMENTS
1. Elopement weddings aren’t as special as a ‘real’ wedding.
Heck no! A couple is still getting married, sharing vows and celebrating their love. That is still a WEDDING. It makes me sad when I hear couples downplay their elopement. Saying things like “it’s nothing fancy..this isn’t your typical wedding..you don’t have to go all out it’s just a small gathering and just need a few photos..”. Ahh! The only reason why we say that is because society (and unfortunately the wedding industry) has made it seem like elopements aren’t special, thus making us think that way. A documentation of a full day of an elopement is just as valuable as a couple having a big wedding wanting it to be captured.
2. Aren’t elopements just like 2 hours?
I know some photographers offer that and I get it. But if I’m honest that approach kinda bums me out because like I’ve mentioned in #1…it’s still a WEDDING DAY, YOUR wedding day. I don’t view your elopement as a photo shoot, it’s going to be your anniversary date and it needs to be documented as such. You’re still getting ready, you’re still getting all those nervous, giddy, emotional feelings. You can still do a first look or first touch. You’re still having a ceremony, sharing vows, and maybe having a prayer or another tradition. And you still need your portraits and a celebratory meal/dinner. If my math is right..that’s more than 2 hours.
Elopements aren’t this quick little thing as people perceive. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on capturing the beautiful details of the day that would unfold and the in between moments. I would be so sad if you got that feeling of regret for not wanting to have gotten more out of your wedding day experience. Your going to remember that day so it’s still incredibly special.
3. Will having an elopement make me selfish?
This is probably the thought that makes you feel uneasy about having an elopement. You can certainly have guests like your family and/or closest friends, you don’t have to not have people there to witness your marriage. Remember that people will want to see you get married, it’s normal. And they may feel hurt for not being invited but at the end of the day it’s still YOUR wedding, not theirs. In terms of logistics, they aren’t paying for it nor are they worrying about the logistics lol. I know it’s hard to read that and take it in. But it’s true. Like I’ve said before, weddings can quickly become more about accommodating your guests than doing what you actually wanna do on your day. So it’s not selfish to want to celebrate in a way that prioritizes what you want for your day. If you explain from your heart, people will understand. They might feel a little sad but they will get it. And you can still make a wedding website and show everyone the photos from your awesome day!
4. Do I have to have my elopement on a mountain?
Unfortunately this is a misconception that (sadly) the photo industry has made. No, you don’t have to get married on a mountain side or any other ‘epic’ background to have an elopement. Although it is visually appealing, it’s not necessary. You can get married anywhere you want to, anywhere that is meaningful to you. Just as long as you do your research on permits and things like that.
HERE’S AN EXAMPLE:
Leslie and Ben, from Parks and Rec, got married at City Hall which was meaningful to them. Jim and Pam, from The Office, got married on a Niagara Falls Boat Tour because they wanted to do it their way and not have to deal with the stress of the ‘traditional’ wedding they had planned. Needless to say, you can do anything that’s meaningful to you.
I know this is a little different from what others usually approach elopements with, but let me show you what your elopement wedding could look like! This example I’ll show you is a sample elopement day timeline that my husband and I would’ve loved to have in the Montauk area on Long Island, NY.
You might look at this and think, “can we really do that on our wedding day”? Yes you can! You can do whatever you want to! Our minds have been trained to view a wedding day in only one way, unfortunately.
Think for a second. If you two could do anything you wanted in your area and get married, what would it be? What would it look like if you planned an entire day, what would you do? What would you see, eat, drink, enjoy?
Let’s talk about it and figure it all out together 🙂 You can message me HERE. I can answer any questions you may have that I didn’t mention here.
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